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Lach Ness Monster: Lump, Log, or Otter?

Lach Ness Monster: Lump, Log, or Otter?

I have been known to believe in some pretty strange things. Things that no one else gives a second thought. Mostly things, such as Nessie, but this is on the more realistic side of the Fiji Mermaid.

In this article, I have done my research, collected true data, and will present the facts for you one by one so that you can make your own decision. As whimsical as it may seem, I for one believe that something could be there. Now, grab a cup of coffee, or a bag of sugar, and start reading…

First, the lake. Lake Ness, or the popular ‘Loch’ is a long deep lake very near Inverness, Scotland. It is part of a huge fissure in the earth that nearly divides Scotland in half. It is a conveniently murky lake perfect for hiding 30-ft. long serpents and plesiosaurs in, and can also be up to 900 ft. deep in certain areas. The lake is also extremely cold. Reaching negative readings quite commonly. But do not give up hope in Nessie just yet! There are many facts to be revealed still!

Nessie. The history of the lake being a mysterious place dates back over 1500 years. Back to the days of one St. Columba. St. Columba was an Irish monk, who not only converted most of Scotland to Christianity, but was able to sooth the original Nessie, who before his time was a murderess. The sightings and speculations on our dear pal Nessie in the modern age, (comparatively anyway) begin in 1934, with the first photo of Nessie, taken by a Dr. Robert Kenneth Wilson, a London physician, who photographed the allegedly plesiosaur-like neck, head and partial body arising from the water. This photo is below.


This photo caused a stir large enough to get some scientific experts on the scene. After looking over the photo, they ruled that it was obviously either a twenty-foot otter, or a log sticking vertically out of the water.

One of the most famous photos -entitled the “Surgeon’s photo” aptly, because of the occupation of the photographer- is below.


Notice something similar? Yes. They are the same photo. This photo, as it turns out, was a hoax. A rather cheaply organized one at that. An associate of the doctor, Christian Spurling, admitted on his death bed that the photo was made using a 14 inch toy submarine, with a piece of wood attached.

This next photo was called the “Mackays and Campbell”, and was taken in 1933.


The photo was taken by a couple who owned a pub at Drumnadrochit. On April 14, they took the photo, and told Alex Campbell, the man responsible for controlling salmon fishing in the loch. Campbell of course agreed that it was in fact the Loch Ness Monster, because he had ‘seen’ Nessie on numerous occasions. Like so many other photos, this one simply faded to the background as more and more ‘evidence’ cropped up.

I will offer, as one last photographic piece of evidence, this photo:


It is actually a sonar image picked up by a study that was held by Dr. Robert Rines, and funded by the American Academy of Applied Science. The tools used were sonar and automatic cameras. In 1972, one of their cameras photographed what appeared to be a flipper, or Nessie herself, at about 6 feet long, in 4 frames of film. In 1975, they struck another photo, blurred, but appearing to be Nessie’s face.

The Science of Her Existence

‘So what’ you say. ‘That is just a bunch of photos and otters.’ Well, here is the actual science, proving, or disproving the existence of everyone’s favorite lake monster.

We know that the lake is at least 24 miles long, and in places, 900 feet deep. This, by a long boring system of equations, tells us that the lake can hold up to 30 metric tons of salmon. Any creature such as Nessie would only weigh 10 percent as much as the total vittles available, so Nessie, if existent, and single, would weigh around 660 pounds (300kg). However, there is a problem with that theory. Zoologists have calculated that in order to perpetuate the species, or small clan of Nessies, there would have to be at least ten of the said beast. Is this possible? Each one would weigh far less than 660 lbs. This weight is easily topped by the Baltic Sturgeon, a fish that can grow up to 450 lbs. “but what about the temperature of the lake?” You ask? Well, in order for Nessie and her pals to live in such cold water, they would have to be… Let’s see…. Adapted to it over 1500 years? Yes, well, that puts the water issue to rest.

You Decide.

Knowing all this, it is up to you to decide.. Can Nessie exist? Are the Scottish of the Loch simply money hungry skirt-wearers? All I did was state the facts. Now you can form your own conclusions..