The Seduction of Inadequacy

Lupita Nyong’o gave a speech at an awards ceremony that has made it’s rounds via social media and other modalities to reach many people across the globe. This speech often has the caption of being a speech on “black beauty”. I think to label it as such is to miss the greater point that she was trying to make in that speech. The speech was clearly about finding the beauty within before appreciating the outer beauty of who you are. While her personal story surrounds her dark skin color the point went much deeper.

While I may write more about this speech in the future I wanted to focus on one statement that she made during this speech. She made reference to what she called “the seduction of Inadequacy”. For anyone who struggles with inadequacy in their personal lives, this statement should be somewhat jarring as it finds a place to settle in past your ears and embedding itself somewhere in your subconscious. I know it had that effect on me.

The seduction of inadequacy addresses the enticement one may have to embrace inadequacy. We do this for a number of reasons. One is that it is easier to embrace it as a conclusion rather than simply a statement of a current condition. Another is that one may be afraid of the truth that hides behind this lie that we tell ourselves. And of course, it could be that we don’t want to do the work necessary to either overcome the inadequacy or prove it to be, in fact, a lie.

I say it may be easier to embrace a feeling of inadequacy because it requires no more work on our parts. Like Robert Kiyosaki states talks about in the book Rich Dad/ Poor Dad, poor people say to themselves, when confronted with a purchase beyond their means, that they cannot afford the purchase. He said that his Rich Dad taught him to instead ask himself the question, “how can I afford this?” The latter demands something of your subconscious and that is further consideration. The first statement of I can’t afford it, is a conclusion and requires no further reaction from your self-conscious.

Another reason for embracing inadequacy is because we are afraid of the truth. The truth may be that we have some real shortcomings in our lives. We will address that shortly but in some cases our shortcomings are a convenient crutch on which we find rest. For example, I tell a story of how I met a gentleman who told me that he wasn’t in his career choice because he didn’t have a college degree. When I told him that I was in that position without a degree, I presented an uncomfortable truth to him. Suddenly he had to at least consider that his lack of degree was not the only reason he found himself in his current job far from where he said the really wanted to be.

Now as stated above, we may have some real challenges that keep us from reaching the level of success that we desire. Not enough money. Not enough education. Raised in a single parent household. Being a minority. Being a female (or male) depending on the undertaking. Some things we can’t do anything about but we always have a choice as to whether or not we succumb to the seduction of inadequacy in our lives. In some instances we can overcome the inadequacies. One is to take a different viewpoint on it. What I mean by that is not viewing it as an inadequacy that hinders us but simply as a challenge to overcome. Instead of stating what you don’t have, ask yourself how you can work with what you do have. You could also think about how you can get around the need for what you are missing all together.

This brings me to the last point which is that sometimes we don’t want to do the work necessary to overcome the inadequacy in our lives. The work necessary could mean any number of things but no matter what it takes it is more work than to simply embrace our shortcomings. One of the greatest examples I could think of is Muggsy Bogues who played basketball in the NBA. He stands 5’3″ and is listed as the shortest man to ever play basketball professionally in the NBA. While being tall is generally considered a requirement to play this sport on a high level, he was able to excel despite not only be void of that characteristic but being the antithesis of it. By his abilities, it is clear that he was willing to put in the effort to be a great player. Not only that, he had to overcome a lot of naysayers in the process.

Lupita Nyong’o recognized the seduction of inadequacy in her own life and we have the job of doing the same in our respective lives. We can overcome any obstacle if we are willing to persevere. It will require some effort and some imagination on our parts but it can be done. We may also need to change our self-perceptions from that of a person who can’t do to that of a can-do person. So don’t get seduced by your own inadequacies, rather be seduced by the ability given to you by God to do whatever you have in your heart to do.

Let’s partner together in your success.

Kelly Marianno